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英语幽默小故事,你看的懂吗?
浏览: 发布日期:2017-08-17
Midway Tactics
  Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
  The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
  The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
  The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中间战术
  三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
  右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌,上书:“大减价!”“特便宜!”
  左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌,声称:“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
  中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌,上面只简单地写着:“入口处”。
Five Months Older
  The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18.
  But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised.
  "How old are you?" he said.
  "Eighteen, sir," said John.
  "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?"
  "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am."
大五个月
  第二次世界大战开始了,约翰想参军,可他只有十六岁,当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时,他说他已经十八岁了。
  可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天,而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时,感到非常惊奇。
  “你多大了?”军医问。
  “十八,长官。”约翰说。
  “可你的哥哥也是十八岁,你们是双胞胎吗?”
  约翰脸红了,说:“哦,不是,长官,我哥哥比我大五个月。”
West Point
  My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point."
  One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point."
西点军校
         父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的橄榄球赛。开始之前,我们到处转了转,碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道,如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。”
  一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员,问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说:“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。”
Best Reward
  A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
  "The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in."
最好的奖赏
  一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
  “最好的办法,长官,”这名水手说,“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您,他们会把我扔下去的。”
He Was Only Wrong by Two
  Jack Hawkins was the football coach at an Amercian college, and he was always trying to find good players, but they weren‘t always smart enought to be accepted by the college.
  One day the coach brought an excellent young player to the dean of the college and asked that the student be allowed to enter without an examination. "Well," the dean said after some persuasion,       "I‘d better ask him a few questions first."
  Then he turned to the student and asked him some very easy questions, but the student didn‘t know any of the answers.
  At last the dean said, "Well, what‘s five times seven?"
  The student thought for a long time and then answered, "Thirty-six."
  The dean threw up his hands and looked at the coach in despair, but the coach said earnestly, "Oh, please let him in, sir! He was only wrong by two."
他的得数只比正确答案多二
  杰克霍金斯是美国一所学院的橄榄球队教练,他竭力想物色好球员。但是好球员学业不行,院方不愿录取。
  有一天,教练带着一位优秀的年轻球员去见院长,希望院方同意他免试入学。经过一番劝说后院长说:“那我最好先问问他几个问题。”
  然后他转向学生,问了几个非常简单的问题。可是那个学生一个也答不上来。
  最后院长说:“那么,五乘七得多少?”
  学生想了很久,然后回答说:“三十六。”
  院长摊开双手失望地看了看教练。可是教练认真地说,“噢,录取他吧,先生。他的答案只比正确答案多二。”